So this is life.

These precious souls will be a month old this week. No, we can't believe it.

Sweet, sweet Katharina is like her Momma when it comes to sleep. One minute she'll be eyes wide-open, taking everything in, and I'll turn around to pick up her crying brother, look back, and she's out. Not like my-eyelids-just-met, I'm-only-resting. Out cold. Like, go ahead, try to wake me, and good luck. And she's out like a light. Katharina does everything daintily-- she yawns and cries with grace, she sleeps like an angel, she even grunts like a lady, and right now, she is all girl.

Sebastian sleeps like his dad. He's hard to wake, and hates anyone who tries. If you succeed, he'll need at least a half an hour to reach a level of wakefulness at which he can only slightly function. When he's hungry, he's just that-- h u n g r y. Though he's not as calm as his sister, he does love his morning snuggles in our bed. He's a pro at wake time and is gaining better control of his arms, eyes and head. He rolled over for the first time last week (I almost threw up a little writing that). Yes, he's 3 1/2 weeks old. No, I don't think that's normal. Yes, it is bittersweet. 

They're simply tiny darlings. We went to dinner last week-- dinner complete with a bottle of wine, starters, dinner and dessert. They slept like angels the entire time, and we almost forgot they were with us, except for the flocks of people coming by to peek.

On top of getting older, they're growing fast too. Huh, imagine that. They're now wearing mostly newborn clothes, though they still have room for swimming in a lot of them, and have outgrown their preemie diapers! (We're about to place an order for snazzy cloth!). Last Thursday they weighed 6 pounds 8 ounces and 6 pounds 11 ounces. Katharina is still in the lead.

As for us parents, we're doing well. Peter is loving fatherhood, and it really does suit him well I think. My unbiased opinion (ok, I could be biased): he is the greatest multi-tasking man I know. He was meant to raise twins. Heck, maybe we'd even like to do this twin thing again! Hold that thought.
Thanks to living in a walking town, I have 4 pounds to lose before I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm feeling fantastic, and finally over that awful weepy stage of baby blues (which, I might argue, is multiplied with multiples), and thoroughly enjoying this time with our babies.

It really is a take-each-day-as-it-comes life, and I love that. I don't really manage any more than what one day holds, so this is working out for us! If you were to show up at our home unannounced, you'd probably find half a dozen diapers (for each baby) lying in a pile on the living room floor. That's because I like to make one trip to the trash (my husband believes I have an aversion to trash cans and has more than once led me to it and introduced us as if I were a kitten being shown its newly placed litter box. I'm changing my ways). You also might find bowls from last night's chili sitting on the kitchen counter, along with the cutting board, pots, pans and plates used to prepare said chili. There may be dust bunnies on the carpeting and I'm pretty sure my windows need washed. The bathroom mirror hasn't been cleaned in a week, nor has the shower. The downstairs carpeting was blessed enough to get vacuumed last week, but the upstairs, well, better luck next time. There might be bills that have been torn open and left sitting on the coffee table, along with a few pairs (or, not pairs) of baby socks and a bottle of nail polish; a basket of laundry on the kitchen floor and two loads drying on various racks throughout the house. But moving on, you'd find two delighted parents resting in their not-so-neat home, holding two tiny miracles with full tummies and lots of smiles.

And we are pretty sure this is what parenthood is about.



God's given us grace for this time. We're slowly getting back in the saddle, but honestly, there are so many snuggles and smiles we'd miss if this house were sparkling. Somehow, like never before, we're able to leave the house be, because they're only like this once, and we all know the dishes aren't going anywhere.

-A.H.

17.10.11

Well, this day has been circled in red and covered in exclamation points for months now. Why? Because it's the day our babies were due to arrive. They had other plans. Of course they did, babies always do, and why should dealing with two be any exception?

Today they're 19 days (or, 1 day, adjusted), and last night I weighed them (albeit clothed and diapered) and both have just passed the 6 pound mark.

Where is time going?

__________________________________________________________

I'm Katharina. I am a really smart baby, and have figured out that when I cry a certain way, Mommy comes running to pick me up. Then I get to fall asleep in her arms instead of in my crib like she wants. But she can't help it, I'm so darn cute.

I like to eat, but really hate this whole parent-directed feeding thing my parents are so into. I want to be a demand-feeder, but Mommy and Daddy say they simply won't have it. So, I have to do things their way.

excuse the coloring...this is the product of a
3am feeding photo shoot.

I'm Sebastian, and I am thriving on the routine my parents have laid out for me. I love waking right on time, taking a full feeding, and having my awake time. I like to look around in my crib for just a few minutes then snuggle into my blanket and fall fast asleep. 

But please don't be deceived. I love screaming during diaper changes, and when Mommy has to put me down to pick up my sister so she can feed us together, all of St. Andrews can hear how unhappy I am. I especially like to pee all over Mom and Dad's sheets when they change me at 3am. This morning I missed and went on my face though. I'll have to work on my aim.

We like to sleep super close to each other in the same crib (cot), and can sleep through really loud crying. Mom and Dad say they're excited to give us our own bedroom, but we don't know why because we like being with them for everything. 

Mommy and Daddy tell us we smile more than any newborns they've seen. They say that makes them really happy.

When we were first born we were always wrapped in the right colors-- boys in blue, girls in pink. Well now we've noticed they just grab whichever blanket is closest and that's what we get.

We don't care that much, but we hope people don't get us mixed up. We also hope they never put us in each others' clothes. That would make us really mad.

Well, that's all for now. We're sure we'll be back with more stories soon.

Love, 

Sebastian & Katharina

We really, really love. . .

. . .sleeping in Mommy and Daddy's bed

even though Baby Wise says not to.

But we're 10 days old

who can help it?

Our new wheels.

Our brand new 2011 Bumbleride Indie Twin Natural Edition!

We really, really, really love this baby.

It practically pushes itself.

Finally here.

Early morning, September 28, we welcomed our two precious little ones. Things pulled together rather quickly for a first time delivery, I think, and they were in our arms about 7 hours after the first contraction.

3:30 am, 5 pushes, and our little man was born. I cannot lie, during labor I was thinking how can they be worth this?! But as soon as that boy was out and the midwife laid him on my chest, I couldn't hold back the tears, and just wept with my arms around my precious son.

3:51 am, just a few more than 5 pushes, and our daughter was born. Her heart rate was dropping quickly during labor, so she was taken right away to be cleaned up and APGAR tested. A couple minutes later Peter had them both in his arms.

We waited until the next day to name them, knowing neither of us could think straight at 4 am.

When Peter came back to the hospital later Wednesday, our little girl wasn't with me. Shortly after birth she had stopped breathing, turned an awful blue, and was hurriedly taken away by midwives. I was later informed by a group of pediatricians that she was in an incubator in the neonatal intensive care unit being monitored.

Peter was able to go up to see her, and brought back a picture for me to see since I hadn't had much time with her. We talked about names, and though a lot of things were not certain, one thing was: our little boy was to be Sebastian Grey.

We looked at pictures of our daughter and crossed name after name off of our list, settling on Katharina (pronounced Kat-uh-rina) McCallum.

And so our twins were named. Grey is my father's mother's maiden name, and McCallum is Peter's father's mother's  maiden name.

On Wednesday, 28 September they were born.

Sebastian Grey

at 3:30 am

5 pounds 3 ounces

18 1/2 inches long

Katharina McCallum

 at 3:51 am

5 pounds 8 ounces

19 inches long

We spent 7 days in the hospital, with no diagnosis on Katharina's apneas. The one conclusion that seemed most probable was that the magnesium sulfate I was given during labor because of high blood pressure affected her.

But we're home now-- happy as could be, our little family of four. Katharina only came home with an apnea monitor that we turn on when she's sleeping in her crib (cot), or whenever we're not right near her (which is never). Peter and I didn't know it was possible to love these two so much. We absolutely adore them. And that's an understatement.

Katharina is a bundle of pure smiles and joy. She's so patient, rarely cries, and sleeps like an angel. Sebastian is a feisty little boy that hates having his diaper changed, loves skin-to-skin, and keeps us all entertained with his silly faces.

Both are incredible feeders and sleepers, and have taken to the Baby Wise routine on their own, always putting themselves to sleep in their bed, and waking [almost ;)] just on time for feeding. (Praise God). They love a tight swaddle, a long snuggle, and have both discovered their thumbs.

We could watch them for hours on end, and love to compare their differences and similarities. Before they were born I was concerned it would be difficult for them to develop their individual identities and that we would struggle with referring to them as one, as "the twins". But already I am seeing that is not the case. We love different things about each one, and already they both express themselves in totally different ways, and we are loving that.

And now, a few pictures upon request:

Last belly picture!

Sebastian-- just a few hours old.

Second time snuggling since birth.

Honest truth, having a child in an incubator in the NICU

is unbelievably hard. It was the most emotionally

 and physically taxing thing we have ever experienced.

Your mind can't help but go to things like, How long does she 

cry? Why does she cry? Does she know who I am when I visit?

Does she miss her brother? Can she smell us? Do we comfort her?

Will we ever have as strong a bond as her brother and I? Does

she know we didn't put her here? Does she recognize my voice?

Katharina was all smiles the first time we put her next

to Sebastian when she was released from the NICU.

It was a teary-eyed moment for all of us.

This is one very proud daddy. . .

. . .and his very happy daughter.

getting ready to go home.

Grammy made a welcome home sign and had
a huge lunch on the table when we got home.

A few last things: 

They had pictures taken today

I lost 42 pounds in less than a week

A blog post is coming on our hot new wheels

36 weeks, and other things.

We never thought I'd make it this far, but things are rolling right along. Next week will mark full term. It's also the week doctors will be pushing to "get things going". Join us in praying that these two decide to come on their own before we have to deal with lovely obstetricians.

Below is Baby Center's estimation on what 36 weeks with fraternal twins looks like.

. . . and what I look like:

Somedays I can be found jumping on our bed. We're still discussing names (and probably will be until we're holding them in our arms). Both babies are still head-down, and Little Man has dropped into place and is engaged waaay down low, gearing up for birth (though it's hard to see that my belly's "dropped" because there's another whole 6+ pounds of child above that!).
___________________________________________

In other news:

We've made some great friends at church -- couples, single people and families.

Peter was awarded "Employee of the Month".

This week is freshers week, where all the kiddos arrive in town and drink fermented beverages to their hearts' content.

We turned our heat on [low] today.

I crave pineapple and fruit smoothies.

We want to go to Spain for Christmas.

Recap on yesterday.

For those that know about yesterday's trip to the hospital and are curious, and for those that didn't but do now, I'll quickly sum it up.

Somewhere around 2pm Thursday I got hit with unexpected (are they ever anticipated?), h a r d contractions (surges, Angela, surges). Just about the time I was able to catch my breath, wonder what it was, draw a quick conclusion, and pick myself up off my rear end, another would hit. They lasted longer than the "normal" 30-70 seconds that doctors tell you they last and were closer together than the 10-15 minute ones I had experienced a couple weeks ago.

I wasn't home, but had met Peter for lunch when he got off work. I'm not really sure what the people in the Pub thought of me, but frankly I just don't care. Besides, I am learning with a stomach my size, about anything is excusable-- we moved to t h r e e different tables at that Pub until we found a booth with stools the right height that I could prop up my feet, and a bench with a back comfortable enough to lean against. People graciously offer me their spot at the front of the bathroom line, add a spoonful more to my ice cream cone, allow us the best seats on the bus, and smile when they see me running ("running") to the public bathrooms.

. . .rabbit trail.

Could walking to lunch have triggered these? Very possibly. But we had our fill of bangers and mash anyway (actually, I had this odd chicken dish but I know for next time to get the sausages. Peter shared) and did a little shopping before heading home for my afternoon nap (go ahead, laugh about it). I figured if I was going into labor I didn't want to be at the hospital at that point anyway, and if I wasn't, what harm was the walking going to do? In fact, maybe it'd just put me into labor).

About these surges. They weren't like any that I had experienced before. Got that. They were more like the rocking-on-all-fours, trying-to-get-comfortable-enough-to-just-breathe kind. The ones where your husband kneads--no, beats--  your back with a rolling pin while you pray you get through it.

We decided to time them when we got home since they weren't stopping or even easing up, but increasing in intensity. They ranged anywhere from 2 to 15 minutes apart, with a couple 30-minute spans of nothing. Great. What in the world does this mean?

This lasted all through the night, and undoubtedly neither of us slept very much at all (Peter even less than me). Come morning I called the hospital for the opinion of a midwife, and several said they wanted me to go in so they could check it all out. They stuck me on a monitor for over half an hour to record the babies' heartbeats and movement with the contractions, which was actually a neat experience-- watching their heartbeats climb and drop and hearing their every move. 2 hours later, the senior doctor decided it would be a good idea to keep me for several hours more to see what the contractions did. After that, we asked them to do a test that is claimed to be 95% accurate-- if it came back positive, I would be going into labor within the next few days, or hours, and they'd have to keep me. Negative, 95% chance I wouldn't go into labor within the next few days, and we could go home. Amazing that by this point, I was so exhausted that I found myself almost (I said, a l m o s t) hoping it would come back negative just so I could go home, to my own bed, have a real dinner, and relax with my husband. Funny how that all works.

The test came back negative, and we were free to leave. I had always imagined having the whole this is definitely it, no doubt about it feeling, and I really never experienced that, but I guess we went in 1) because the midwives asked me to (what was I going to do, refuse?), and 2) because I really wasn't sure what was happening. The surges were weird, the frequency was weird, the intensity was weird. I've never been in labor before, maybe it isn't like I imagined. But apparently it is true-- labor can present itself in many different forms and, with a twin pregnancy everything, I repeat everything, is heightened-- cramping, backaches, nausea, contractions, fatigue, growth... Times two (huh, imagine that).

And I'm still home today, relaxing in my own bed, cooking my own meals, wearing my own clothes. I'm grateful to be here, but really, anytime you're ready kiddos, we're ready for ya.