I'm dreaming of a cottage with a red front door.

These days I can often be found laying around wishing I would just puke. Then I think about eating and how I know I need to and it starts to come up my throat. Nasty, I know. It's a terrible feeling, but a good one, and I'm glad I'm feeling this way because I didn't with the twins. And so I console myself with sudden rushes to the toilet or sink or bucket or front porch. Whichever is closest.

We have an ultrasound scheduled for next week and we are both more than excited to experience that for the first time. It's honestly something I wish I had done immediately after finding out I was pregnant last time. But now it's finally on our calendar in big Sharpie writing and I can't wait. (Peter even talks about how eager he is to see the midwife [and Baby!]). So keep us in your prayers as we anticipate this appointment.

I am getting more and more excited about delivering in Scotland, but we're saying prayers that I'll be able to land a natural midwife somewhere. My mom and sister are both already making plans to fly to St. Andrews for the baby's birth, and I can hardly wait for that. I'm beyond blessed.

Not to mention what awesome stories this child will have to tell. . .

The houses we've been looking at getting are so beyond adorable that I can't even describe them. I suppose if you picture a little Scottish stone cottage situated right on the North Sea, complete with a bright red door and white picket fence, that might give you an idea. . .   d a r l i n g!

And so, in this new life, I think we'll grocery shop every other day because we have to. And we might get skinny because we'll have to walk everywhere. And we'll don hats and wool coats and scarves, and boots will have to become my favorite shoe. And I might just finish Anna Karenina on the beaches of the North Sea (yes, it will probably take me that long to finish it). . .

I think our life is crazy. It's okay if you do too. We kind of like it this way and it would seem this is how God wants us for now.  I guess things really haven't been calm since we said I do.


I'll be back soon. Hopefully.




-A.H.

A big day.

In one week we were hit with a few pieces of huge, life-changing news.


In no particular order:


First, that Peter has an unconditional offer from the Philosophy department at Durham University (in Durham, England). Oh yeah, and to St. Andrew's in Scotland. 


Unconditional offer = there are no academic requirements of any sort that he has to fulfill before acceptance. In short, we're in. This is a huge accomplishment, and to brag for just a minute, I'm so unbelievably proud of my man. St. Andrew's wrote to him saying,

  "There is exceptionally strong competition for entry to the University, so you should be very proud of your achievement in earning a place here". 

We're so thrilled! I'm sure you can imagine.


But, we still have a lot of other things to work out and take into consideration like applying for working visas and financial aid, responses from the other universities, and the baby growing inside me.


Yeah, that's right. I'M PREGNANT. (That was piece of info number two).


I've been hesitant to share our news. I was hesitant to tell about my pregnancy with the twins too. But, I've realized that we need to tell because both the baby and I need the prayers of our friends and family. I can't imagine enduring the miscarriage I did  without the support of those close to us. So, please pray. (Plus, we're just ecstatic).


Praise the Lord. And I'll be back with more info shortly.




-A.H.

2.18.2011

The day I thought I might dread the very most is upon me.

February 18.

It is on this day that I was due to deliver our twins. And I can't even believe 9 months has passed.

And so, today is a sad day. Really, it feels like we lost them only yesterday. I miss them, and what we can imagine life would have been like with them here. I know they would have been here by now, and how different our life would be!

Hugh and Leif.

I mourn that I don't know their faces but for the almost formless ones I stared at for days before burying them. Would they have had tons of black hair like I did? Would they have had their Daddy's beautifully-shaped blue eyes?

The Lord sent me encouragement. I was reminded that though we call them our two angels in heaven, they are not. They are something better: heirs of God, that passed right from life to glory.

I do wish I had taken pictures. I wish I could hold them both in my arms. I wish I could teach them to walk and watch them cringe as they bite into their first lemons.

Peter and I talk of them so often. We're making big plans and working so hard so we can provide their siblings with great opportunities. But how I wish they were here.

For some reason they are not, and there are a million and one things our great God is teaching me through this.

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

the Lord bestows favor and honor.

No good thing does He withhold

from those who walk uprightly.

And so I am sad because of the boys, but rejoicing that our God of comforts has been gracious. He has blessed us with another baby, and that brings us great joy. We are so grateful that we can spend my due date rejoicing in the life of another child forming inside me!

(More on that last paragraph very soon. . .)

-A.H.

Lipstick and my little girl.

My husband bought me lipstick. The kind with dramatic color. The kind I'd been asking for.

(He'll be embarrassed knowing I am blogging about this, but I think I am entitled to bragging about him even just a little).

As I sat admiring his color choices-- pink peony and a burnt red-- he tilted his head and said with a grin, "I thought they'd go nicely with your skin tones."

And that's just another little thing I love about him: that he stood in the cosmetics aisle for at least several minutes pondering which shades would compliment my coloring.

But he's a man.

One that is conscious of skin tones and working with them. Yet he'd rebuild the engine of a car or gut a deer in a heartbeat.

I've been so blessed.
________________________________________________

Joyce has brought exceptional joy to both Peter and I, these past few months specifically.  I'd been working hard with her on colors, letters, numbers, animals and their sounds, etc., but wasn't seeing her absorb the information. We blamed it on the language barrier, and I resolved myself to teaching her again, once we had mastered basic conversation skills. :)

Well, overnight, it seemed, she blossomed. Her parents are thrilled, friends are dumb-founded, I am tickled, and Peter is impressed.

Apparently she'd been processing and storing all that information in her little mind.

She now builds towers with blocks and works her way down the tower, naming the letters and their color as she goes. She writes letters on her Doodle Pad, speaks full sentences in English to me and Peter and Korean to her parents, she teaches me Korean nouns, and minds her manners in public.

I love this girl.

Next week we'll try potty training.

-A.H.